Once there was a little boy whose father beat him and his mother yelled at him. When the little boy went to school, he shouted at the other children and threw rocks because he didn’t know how to be nice.
During my reading this week, I learned that an estimated 40% of bullies are bullied themselves at home or at school. These abused children feel powerless and, in turn, try to find power and attention elsewhere, often acting out physically.
This is how some bullies are created, but not all.
Researchers have not been able to find a link between bullies and race, religion, income level, gender, etc. but they can agree on this: bullies are created because they are searching for some kind of power.
For example, children seeking the power of popularity will try to cover their own low self-esteem by putting others down (social bullying). This is the most common form of bullying I have seen.
Many bullies have no “reason” to be mean. They are often superior in some way (athletic, attractive, or social) and power over their peers comes naturally, resulting in a following. This taste of power creates a thirst for more power, which they usually gain through intimidation, another form of bullying. An example of this? Captain of a sports team.
The bad news is that bullying is a learned behaviour – which puts parents (and all adults) in the hot seat. The good news is that we can do something about it:
1) Be kind. 2) Learn appropriate and consistent discipline. 3) Show unconditional love that is not based on achievements or popularity. 4) Nip bullying behaviour in the bud (using step #2). 5) Seek professional help if your child shows abnormally aggressive, impulsive, or anti-social behaviour. 6) Be an example of tolerance and consideration for others.
No comments:
Post a Comment