Take twenty-five kids, stick them in a room for six hours, five days a week and expect them to get along. Ah, school! No wonder this is the place many of us experience our first social difficulties. Inevitable personality clashes, however, are different from the deliberate meanness of bullying.
There are so many places at school (classrooms, hallways, playgrounds, buses) and so many victims to choose from, it’s no wonder school is a bully’s ideal arena. Administrators, teachers, and bus drivers (aside from the few who are perpetrators themselves) try hard to curtail bullying. But we know teachers can’t be everywhere or see everything, so here are a few ideas to help:
1) Assign partners and seatmates instead of having children choose their own. The child left without a partner might as well have “next victim” stamped on his forehead. And varied seatmates can cultivate friendships and tolerance.
2) Avoid giving students power over other students. Some students will abuse the power and become bullies, while others will be marked as “teacher’s pet” for future social bullying.
3) Watch for children who don’t want to go outside at recess, or who linger or bolt at home time. Find out the reason for their behaviour.
4) Believe children who complain of bullying and act accordingly.
Parents can help by showing respect for the difficult roles teachers and administrators play and working with them to reduce bullying.
My first experience with a would-be bully was on the school bus. He wound his fingers through my hair and said he would keep pulling until I swore, which I wouldn’t do. When my mom learned of this, she called the school. With the help of administrators, the bus driver, and the boy’s parents, I wasn’t bothered again.
It may be cliché, but working together, we really can make a difference.
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