A Mother's Day

After almost fifteen years of marriage and five children, my husband knows better than to ask what I’ve done all day.  Some days I proudly announce what I’ve accomplished.  After all, I’m a make-a-list and get-things-done kind of person.  I like checkmarks.

But sometimes I sit down to rest in the evening and wonder what I’ve done.  I mean, I’ve been MOVING a lot, I just don’t see much progress.

The fact that I have a 23-month-old son and a 4-year-old daughter is probably explanation enough.  If it’s not, let me tell you about a day I had a few months ago:

The preschooler let the toddler into her room.  He promptly climbed onto the 7-year-old’s dresser and threw a jar of change onto the floor.  Of course the jar smashed, so cleaning up glass and money became a top priority.  Shortly after I finished that chore, the partners in mischief decided to crumble a chocolate chip cookie on the living room rug.  While I was vacuuming and cleaning chocolate off the carpet, they got into the cooler and scattered picnic supplies all over the sunroom.  By noon I managed to get dressed, make lunch, and go to the school to pick up my 11-year-old who had almost fainted because she went to choir before eating lunch.

That night I sat down discouraged.  I hadn’t accomplished anything.

Except…  The kids were still alive.  They were fed and tucked into warm beds.  And the house was still standing.

Those, I decided, were worth 500 checkmarks apiece.  Score!

The Perfect Mother

Did you have a good Mothers Day?  I hope so.

Some of my Mothers Days have been better than others.  One year I found myself in tears because it felt like a day to celebrate The Perfect Mother ideal rather than The Imperfect Mother reality.  Instead of feeling appreciated for what I was, I saw my many flaws.

Then I got smart.  I took a closer look at the mothers around me.  I have a mother, a mother-in-law, three sisters and four sisters-in-law who are mothers, and many friends and acquaintances who are mothers.  That’s a lot of mothers to observe, including myself.

Guess what I found we had in common?

Nothing.

Except that we’re all mothers.

There’s the mother who plans her life around her children and rarely does anything without them, and the mother who lives her life and squeezes her children in there somewhere.  There’s the mother who sprays everything with disinfectant, and the mother who thinks a little dirt never hurt anyone.  There’s the mother who sees nothing wrong with an occasional swat on the bottom, and the mother who gives only time-outs.  There’s the mother who dresses her kids in designer clothes and tells them to “stay clean”, and the mother who dresses them in stained pants and says “get dirty”.  There’s the mother who watches her child’s diet carefully, and the mother who feels that childhood is a time for sweets and treats.

Yup, we’re all different.  When it comes to mothering, there’s no one right way to do things.  Sure, there’s always room for improvement, but remember this:  not everyone decorates cakes, sews clothes, throws parties, and braids hair like they do on Pinterest.  So give yourself – and other mothers – a break.

 

The Perfect Mother is the one who loves her children and does her best to care for them, realizing that some days are better than others.