School - The Bully's Arena

Take twenty-five kids, stick them in a room for six hours, five days a week and expect them to get along.  Ah, school!  No wonder this is the place many of us experience our first social difficulties.  Inevitable personality clashes, however, are different from the deliberate meanness of bullying.

There are so many places at school (classrooms, hallways, playgrounds, buses) and so many victims to choose from, it’s no wonder school is a bully’s ideal arena.  Administrators, teachers, and bus drivers (aside from the few who are perpetrators themselves) try hard to curtail bullying.  But we know teachers can’t be everywhere or see everything, so here are a few ideas to help:

1)  Assign partners and seatmates instead of having children choose their own.  The child left without a partner might as well have “next victim” stamped on his forehead.  And varied seatmates can cultivate friendships and tolerance.

2)  Avoid giving students power over other students.  Some students will abuse the power and become bullies, while others will be marked as “teacher’s pet” for future social bullying.

3)  Watch for children who don’t want to go outside at recess, or who linger or bolt at home time.  Find out the reason for their behaviour.

4)  Believe children who complain of bullying and act accordingly.

Parents can help by showing respect for the difficult roles teachers and administrators play and working with them to reduce bullying.

My first experience with a would-be bully was on the school bus.  He wound his fingers through my hair and said he would keep pulling until I swore, which I wouldn’t do.  When my mom learned of this, she called the school.  With the help of administrators, the bus driver, and the boy’s parents, I wasn’t bothered again.

It may be cliché, but working together, we really can make a difference.

Home For The Holidays

When I was single and living in Calgary, travelling home for the holidays meant an eight-hour journey through the Rockies into British Columbia.

The first year I took this trip, I put my life in my brother’s hands.  He put me in an old Chevy with a leaky radiator.  It was minus twenty-five and we crawled into Nanton just as the car died.  With cardboard in the grill we continued on, detouring around a twenty-one-car pile up, then creeping up and sliding down Kootenay Pass.  We arrived home after midnight, cold and exhausted.

The return trip was even worse.  Kootenay Pass was closed so we had to take the ferry which, due to high winds, was shut down right after we crossed.  Then we found ourselves stuck in a snow bank on a nearly deserted road.  Fortunately, three big guys in a pickup truck lifted us out.  We continued to Fernie where we spent the night trying to get warm.

The next year I took the bus.  It was a holiday-crowded overnighter and my seatmate was a clean lumberjack-look-alike whose legs were too long for the seat.  When I awoke, I apologized for using him as a pillow.  He said, “That’s okay, you can sleep on me anytime.”

You never know what might happen on a bus.  My dad learned this in 1961 when a large, white-haired woman wearing a red coat boarded and the drunks in the back began to sing Here Comes Santa Claus.  Luckily the woman wasn’t offended and the passengers enjoyed the moment.

However you choose to travel this holiday season, I hope you do so safely.  If you drive, why not tuck a shovel, candle, matches, blanket, and extra drinking water in the back seat?

Season’s Greetings, Merry Christmas, and Safe Travels to you and yours!