Bye-Bye Bullies

I’ve written about bullies and victims and parents and teachers, but I haven’t written about another very powerful group of people.  People who could, if they wanted to, reduce bullying substantially.

These people are the bystanders.  Bystanders are usually the peers of either the bully or the target.

What would you do if you witnessed an assault in progress?  Would you be scared for your own safety and run away?  Would you physically intervene, yell “Stop that!” or hide while you called 911?  Would you stand and watch, maybe catch it on your iPhone to broadcast later on YouTube?

Statistics reveal that bystanders are present in 85% of bullying instances and reinforce the bully in 81% of these instances.  This means they help the victim only 4% of the time; yet, when bystanders do step in, bullying stops within 10 seconds. (stats from an anti-bullying presentation sent to me by a grade 9 teacher)

The reasons most bystanders don’t do anything are: The bully is someone others look up to and want to associate with.  They want to side with the bully because then they feel strong.  They’re entertained by the bullying.  They don't think speaking up will help.  They're afraid that if they say something the bully will turn on them.

Saying something as simple as “knock it off” can take away the bully’s power and end the bullying session.  If there is a fear of danger, walk away and call for help.  Even asking for help anonymously will help put a stop to future bullying.

Pink Shirt Day (that sparked this series of articles) stemmed from the actions of two brave bystanders at a school in Nova Scotia.  When a new student was bullied for wearing a pink shirt on his first day, these students bought 50 pink shirts and asked their classmates to wear them.  The message they sent was clear:  No bullying here.  Bye-bye bullies.