I wasn’t planning to write another “Valentine” article, but the passing of Whitney Houston inspired me to do so. She was one of the few artists whose music I could enjoy song after song.
The Greatest Love of All was my favourite. She sang it beautifully and, while I believe “the greatest love of all” should actually be one’s love for God, not for oneself, learning to love ourselves is still a message worthy of attention.
One Valentine’s Day when I didn’t have a boyfriend, I bought myself a dozen roses. Some of my friends said this was weird, but others agreed it was a great idea. I thought it was perfectly normal to show love for myself by doing something that made me feel good. I love flowers and I didn’t think I should have to wait for someone else to buy them for me.
Sometimes self love gets wound up in our promotions, our looks, our possessions, our friends, and our abilities. We define our worth by our successes and failures – how our children behave, whether we were able to lose ten pounds, how many friends we have on Facebook, or whether we made partner by the time we were thirty.
Love of self can be a tricky thing. While it should motivate us to want to be better, to look good, to develop talents, to aim for success, it shouldn’t be measured by those things. It’s how we feel deep down, when we’re alone, and even if the career, money, possessions, and beauty were to disappear.
Our self relationships can be improved with effort. Smiling when we pass a mirror no matter what our hair looks like, telling ourselves we’re terrific even on a hard day, buying flowers if we want them, and remembering to look upward as well as inward.
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