Pro-Compromise

It’s an ongoing debate, but both Pro-Life and Pro-Choice groups have ideas I agree with.

I believe that life is precious and we should do all we can to respect and preserve it.  I also believe that freedom of choice is not only a right but a great blessing.

I also believe both groups could work on improving a few things.

The Pro-Lifers could tone down their graphic ads and shock tactics and focus more on offering help and counseling to expectant mothers who may be considering terminating a pregnancy because they don’t see any other options.

The Pro-Choicers could encourage women to make smart choices – like choosing to not use substances that impair judgment, choosing to use adequate birth control, or choosing to reserve intimacy for loving and committed relationships where a baby would be a blessing, not a burden.

I am against abortion, except in the rare instances when a mother’s life or sanity is at risk and competent medical advice urges termination.  After serious contemplation, a woman has the right to choose to save her life.

Does that make me Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?  Or something else.  Pro-Compromise?

During this time of Remembrance, I hope we will acknowledge that terminating life can have long-lasting physical and emotional consequences.  If abortion is here to stay, we need better regulation and education, more positive alternatives, honesty and accountability, and increased counseling.

We live in a great country, so let’s find a great solution – even if that solution means compromise.

Scary Jeans

In honour of Halloween, I will write about something else I find disturbing.  Skinny jeans.

The first time I saw them I sighed.  I knew that this fashion – the painted-on look – was one I would not touch.  Some people don’t care how they look in certain styles – they just wear whatever they want – but I’m not one of those people.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a twig so I have no intention of squeezing myself into such pants and inflicting pain on myself and those who see me in them.  That’s okay.  I’m at a place in my life where I can wear my boot-cut or straight-leg jeans and say pooh-pooh to particular fashions.

My daughters, however, do care about the latest styles.  When I take them shopping and we have trouble finding trendy jeans that will fit them, what do they think?  That they’re fat.

This upsets me.  My husband is 6’4” and I’m 5’8”.  Petite doesn’t run in our family, but even when I was totally skinny at 125 pounds, I still had to buy XL pants and queen-size pantyhose.

I don’t get it.

We spend time convincing women and girls that they are beautiful “just the way they are”.  We expend energy promoting self-esteem and healthy body image.  We explain that models in magazines are airbrushed and altered.

Then we allow skinny jeans and short-shorts to take over.  I thought we had smartened up and left the era of super skinny being the norm, but I guess we’re back.

It’s scarier than Halloween.

Live Without Regret

The one zucchini plant I managed to grow in my garden this year took awhile to get going.  It started producing in August and was still going strong in September when a friend called to warn me of a heavy frost forecast.

I looked at the tiny zucchinis growing on that plant and couldn’t bring myself to pick them yet.  Instead, I got two fleece throws from the car and covered as much of the plant as I could.  It worked!  I saved my little zucchinis and they continued to grow until ready to be harvested.

Meanwhile, more flowers bloomed and attempted to turn into zucchinis, so I continued the ritual of covering my zucchini plant at night and uncovering it during the day to allow it as much warmth and sunlight as possible.

After a few weeks, I noticed the zucchinis didn’t seem to be growing anymore.  Although my neighbour laughed at me, I went on covering the plant for a few more nights.  I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing something I could have saved.

My actions reminded me of the quote hanging on my kitchen wall.  It says: Live Without Regret.

When faced with difficult decisions, I have often considered the question, “In the future, will I regret not doing this?”  Will I regret not having another baby?  Will I regret not staying home with my children?  Will I regret not covering my zucchini plant?

I can’t always avoid regret, but I enjoy the peace of mind that comes from trying.

Stranger Danger

This morning, on the way home from dropping my kids off at school, I noticed a boy sitting on the sidewalk beside his bike.  By the way he was holding his leg and looking at his hands, it was obvious he had fallen.  He looked to be about 10, and knowing kids don’t accept help from strangers these days, I drove on.

As I neared my driveway, I looked back to see if he was on his way yet.  He wasn’t, so I pulled a U-turn.  I lowered the passenger window and asked if he was okay.  He said “yeah” though his face said otherwise.  When I asked if he needed help or a band-aid he ignored me and pushed his bike away.

I hope he’s okay and, of course, I don’t take offense to his rejection, but when you’re a well-meaning adult wanting to help a child in need, it’s hard to know that – to them – you’re the big bad STRANGER.

Last spring my daughter was also on her way to school when her shoelace wrapped around her pedal and she crashed her bike.  A man stopped to help, but that scared her even more so she told him she was fine.  Amidst tears, she got herself unwound just as her older sibling came back to check on her.

It’s rather sad that we are taught not to trust.  There’s got to be some way to recognize real stranger danger; some way to keep our kids and ourselves safe without being suspicious of everyone.  Is education or intuition the answer?