Garbage, Garbage Everywhere

When the snow melts, spirits rise.  We can’t wait to see the grass turn green and the wildflowers bloom in the ditches.  But before we can see those beautiful sights, we have to endure an ugly one:  garbage everywhere.

How does it get there? I wonder.  Are there giant crows (like in Fort McMurray) who know how to lift the lids of metal trash-bins?  I haven’t seen any here.  Maybe the wind blows it in from neighbouring communities.  Maybe a garbage truck threw up.

It can’t possibly be the obvious, can it?  Are people really throwing coffee cups, fast food containers, and diapers out their windows as they drive along?  I refuse to believe it.  I can understand the occasional apple core tossed out, but paper garbage?

Oh, I get it.  The litterers are being kind.  They want to give town workers, inmate work parties, and youth groups something to do every spring.

I also wonder about the overflowing trash bins I see on garbage day.  Bins so full the lids won’t close.  Our family of seven makes less than two bags of garbage and one bag of recycling most weeks.  What’s going on at these other houses?  How do they make so much garbage?  Did I miss a memo or something?

Now and then I open my van door and a receipt blows away or a water bottle rolls out.  But I quickly grab it or have one of my children go after it.  “We don’t litter,” I say.  “We want to keep our world clean.”

You’d think, with all the talk about saving the environment and desiring to reduce our ecological footprints, we could start with something as simple as composting, recycling, and keeping our own garbage out of the gutter.

Elections - An Exercise In Trust

I’m taking a break from my bullying articles this week to write about the upcoming election.

Normally, politics is not something I write about, since plenty of other people do.  All I will say about our local candidates is that I was impressed when _____ came to my door.  She seems to be approachable and down-to-earth and I believe that, if re-elected, she will “take honesty and common sense to the table”.  The others I have yet to look into.

Elections are a matter of trust.  Who do you trust enough to represent your voice?

Too many of us rely on opinions in the media or what our friends have to say instead of doing the work of study and research ourselves.  We need to ask questions of our candidates, scour their websites, read factual articles, and know their platforms.

If you wanted to know Canada Post rates, would you talk to the UPS guy?  If you wanted to learn about Catholicism, would you go online to read what an ex-priest had to say or perhaps watch The Exorcist?  Of course not.

But when our votes are swayed by attack campaign ads, someone else’s opinion, a catchy, meaningless slogan, or the sign on your neighbour’s lawn, that is, in effect, what we’re doing.

Discussing opinions and debating issues is fine, but not if that’s the extent of our research.  The smart thing to do is go to the source to find out what they have to say about themselves and their party.  If we mull that information over, make a decision, see how it feels in our gut, and then go to the polls, we can trust ourselves to make the right decision.

The Perfect Mother

Did you have a good Mothers Day?  I hope so.

Some of my Mothers Days have been better than others.  One year I found myself in tears because it felt like a day to celebrate The Perfect Mother ideal rather than The Imperfect Mother reality.  Instead of feeling appreciated for what I was, I saw my many flaws.

Then I got smart.  I took a closer look at the mothers around me.  I have a mother, a mother-in-law, three sisters and four sisters-in-law who are mothers, and many friends and acquaintances who are mothers.  That’s a lot of mothers to observe, including myself.

Guess what I found we had in common?

Nothing.

Except that we’re all mothers.

There’s the mother who plans her life around her children and rarely does anything without them, and the mother who lives her life and squeezes her children in there somewhere.  There’s the mother who sprays everything with disinfectant, and the mother who thinks a little dirt never hurt anyone.  There’s the mother who sees nothing wrong with an occasional swat on the bottom, and the mother who gives only time-outs.  There’s the mother who dresses her kids in designer clothes and tells them to “stay clean”, and the mother who dresses them in stained pants and says “get dirty”.  There’s the mother who watches her child’s diet carefully, and the mother who feels that childhood is a time for sweets and treats.

Yup, we’re all different.  When it comes to mothering, there’s no one right way to do things.  Sure, there’s always room for improvement, but remember this:  not everyone decorates cakes, sews clothes, throws parties, and braids hair like they do on Pinterest.  So give yourself – and other mothers – a break.

 

The Perfect Mother is the one who loves her children and does her best to care for them, realizing that some days are better than others.

Anniversary Tickets

This spring marks my 20-year anniversary as a licensed driver.

Ten years after I got my license, I got my first ticket.  It was a speeding ticket for doing a whopping 50 km/hr.  To my disgrace, however, it was in a 30 km/hr school zone.  Before you think I’m a completely horrible person, let me tell you why I didn’t slow down that day:

My husband’s shift had recently changed from Monday - Friday to Tuesday - Saturday.  I was used to shopping on Saturdays and not worrying about school zones.  Suddenly my shopping day was Monday but I was still thinking “Saturday”.  It was my first time out alone since giving birth to our second child, and I was heading to a mall to do some Christmas shopping.  I was very excited and took a route I didn’t normally take.  It was morning and the sun was shining in my eyes; hence, I didn’t even see the sign.

After I got my ticket, I cried all the way home and for most of the day.  I had just blown our Christmas budget on a speeding ticket and, of course, I felt bad about speeding in a school zone.  Thankfully, the judge said I didn’t look like a speeder and he reduced my ticket so it wouldn’t affect our insurance.

Ten years later, which was a few weeks ago, I got my second ticket.  Wouldn’t you know it, this time it was a parking ticket while I attended a candidate forum prior to the recent election.  Just doing my duty to be an informed voter and – BAM!  Beware: Active and thorough Peace Officer in town.

For my 30-year driving anniversary I’d prefer another kind of ticket – tickets for a Broadway musical.  But just in case, I’d better cut down on my jay-walking.

Community Challenge

This will be my last article on bullying.  Thank you to those who have encouraged me and shared their own experiences and insights into this far-reaching topic.

These have been difficult articles to write for a number of reasons: 1) Everyone seems to have an emotional investment in the subject so I felt the need to write sensitively, 2) It’s an expansive topic that has so many angles, many of which I’ve barely scratched the surface, and 3) Since I’m not a perfect parent and love is often the last thing I feel when I see a bully at work, I’ve sometimes felt hypocritical while writing.

But I have learned a lot, and awareness and education was my goal.  As a result of this focus, at family mealtime we now ask each other: “What did you do today to be nice to someone?”

I’m happy to know that local high school students have been working on anti-bullying presentations to be offered to younger students.  Awareness and education are key.  I believe the girls who bullied my daughter were nice girls who didn’t realize they were actually being bullies when they gossiped and excluded.

One of my readers sent a link to a program I think sounds fantastic: http://www.rachelschallenge.org/.  The goal of this program is “…to inspire…and empower every person to create a permanent positive culture change in their school, business and community by starting a chain reaction of kindness and compassion.” (from the Rachel’s Challenge mission statement)

Instead of focusing on the negative (bullying), the idea is to focus on the positive (kindness).  If one person has the courage to reach out in kindness and compassion to someone each day, imagine the difference that person could make.  I can do that!  So can you.

And if you and I can make a difference, just think what a whole community could do.  The question is, are we up to the challenge?