Write, Read, and Remember

As I helped my daughter sort through her “special box”, I noticed there was a fancy journal she had started but decided not to continue because she had messed up a page and thought it was too ugly to keep.

I tried to convince her that diaries didn’t have to be neat.  In fact, sometimes the messy writing, scribbled diagrams, or tear stains are part of their charm.  She didn’t believe me, so I went to my cedar chest and dug out my box of old journals.  My children gathered around as I lifted these treasures out one by one.  I carefully opened the pages and showed them what my printing (starting at age 7), then cursive, looked like.  I pointed out mistakes and misspelled words.  They were enthralled and convinced that perfection is not the point of keeping a personal record.

What is the point of keeping a journal?  To remember special moments, learn from past mistakes, relate to youngsters, and resolve family disputes.  But most of all, to leave a record of your life so your children and grandchildren can know you.

When email came on the scene, I noticed my journal entries decreased.  Instead of spending a half hour on Sunday afternoons to write, I found myself typing emails to my family and friends instead.  But then I got smart and printed off these emails to put in a binder journal.

Then came Facebook.  I recently realized that precious information about who I am in 2012 while my children are young is being sent into cyber-wherever-ness instead of being preserved in something tangible.

So I bought a pretty spiral notebook and began to copy my status updates into it.  I add extra personal information as needed – et voila! – I’ve got another valuable record that I can read, remember, and share with future generations.

Now Is The Time

This past week marked two years since my mom was hit by a car while crossing a street in Lethbridge.  Yes, she waited for the light to turn green and she was in a crosswalk; nevertheless, a car ran straight into her.

She doesn’t remember much except lying on the ground for a long time while emergency workers assessed her injuries.  She required surgery to set a broken leg with metal plates and pins.

That wasn’t a phone call I was expecting.  Fortunately, by the time I was notified, the news “Mom was hit by a car” was followed with “but she’s alive and came through surgery okay.”

Times like this make me refocus.  What’s most important to me?  My relationships.  Does my behaviour reflect this?  Am I quick to apologize, to forgive, to spend time, to say “I love you”?  Sometimes when those phone calls come, it’s too late to go back and change things.  Now is the time.

As for driving, let’s slow down, shoulder check, put away the cell phone, and invest in sunglasses.  And pedestrians, even when you have the right of way, make sure the cars around you are stopping before you cross.  Make eye-contact with drivers to ensure they’ve seen you.

My mom endured painful physiotherapy, did her exercises faithfully, limped around on crutches for awhile, and her leg healed.  But the strain on her knee took its toll and a few months later she required knee replacement surgery and more rehabilitation.  Now she’s up and about, but the accident caused permanent nerve damage and she’ll never be the same.

Still, when I think of how that phone call two years ago could have gone, I am thankful my mom is still with us.  Who are you thankful for?  Now is the time to tell them.

Friends In High Places

I once heard someone say, “If anyone has to buy a zucchini in the summer, that person must not have any friends.”  Having just bought a zucchini, I said, “Hey!”  So we became friends and I didn’t have to buy another zucchini that summer.  Or the next.

The abundance of zucchinis this summer reminded me of this.  It also reminded me how nice it is to have friends.

A few weeks ago we ended up in Emergency (again) with our little guy.  It seems that whenever he gets a cold, he has complications – the latest ones being breathing difficulties that sent us to the Stollery by ambulance.  It sure is frightening to watch your baby struggling to breathe.  Then there are the other children at home to worry about.

Enter friends.

Friends who watch our children.  Friends who provide dinner when we’re unable to cook.  Friends who pray for us.  Friends who offer to keep our kids overnight if we have to be at the hospital past bedtime.

What would we do without friends?  I’m glad I haven’t had to find out.

In June I saw six high school girls walk past my house.  Five of them were holding some kind of electronic device, heads bent, fingers texting.  I couldn’t help but wonder if they were friends and, if so, why they weren’t talking to each other.  Or were they texting each other?  I don’t know.  But it did make me worry about the ability of future generations to make friends and communicate in relationships.

I tell my children that to have a friend you have to be one.  Sometimes we’re on the giving end, sometimes the receiving end.  But whenever someone lifts another, they are, indeed, a friend in high places.

When To Push

Don’t worry; this article isn’t about childbirth.

It’s about that difficult question:  When do we make someone do something they don’t want to do?  When do we push?  When do we ease up?

Some things are distasteful but necessary – like taking out the garbage or cleaning the toilets.  Some things have to be done.  Some things don’t.

This past week my daughter begged to be home-schooled again.  It was okay with me, but we had to consider what was best for her.  Did she need to work through this?  Did we need to make her stick it out?

I think such decisions require us to ask at least five questions:  1) Is it necessary?  2) Is there an alternative?  3) Is it affecting one’s health?  4) Is it becoming a pattern?  5) What are the possible future consequences and are they acceptable?

Sometimes making a decision is like stepping into the dark.  Sometimes the light doesn’t come on until after we’ve taken that first step.  I found this out 17 years ago.  My fiancé and I were great friends and had the same goals but I was completely miserable when we got engaged.  Breaking it off was hard but right.  I was sad but at peace.

It’s okay to turn around if we find we’re going the wrong way.  In fact, I think it shows wisdom, character, and humility to say, “I was wrong; I need to back up and try something else.”  My mom will be forever grateful her parents pulled her out of boarding school when she was 12.  I’ll be forever grateful I was allowed to quit jazz when I was 15.

Perhaps great leaders choose to motivate, inspire, and invite because really, who likes to be pushed by anyone but ourselves?

The Shopping Cart Dilemma

I approached a woman and offered her a loonie in exchange for her shopping cart.  She took my money, I took her cart.  A few seconds later I noticed the cart didn’t have a loonie in it, so I trailed her.

As she climbed into her truck I said, “This cart doesn’t have a loonie in it.”  I thought she’d say, “I’m sorry, I forgot” and return my money.  Instead, she shrugged, shut the door, and smirked at me through her window.  I stood there for a moment, stunned.  She stole my loonie!  My precious, saved-especially-for-shopping-carts loonie!

I think about this experience often because it makes me leery during other money/cart trades.  I also feel bad that someone compromised her integrity over a loonie.  I mean, if you need a loonie that bad, just ask.  I’ll give you one.

Or will I?

A few weeks ago, someone approached me asking for a cart trade and, to my dismay, I found myself with a handful of dimes.  Now, I know that ten dimes equal a loonie – but that was my precious, saved-especially-for-shopping-carts loonie!

So I had to go to the bank to get another loonie to keep in my cup-holder.

My next grocery trip someone else approached me all bubbly and smiles, holding out four quarters.  I groaned and said, “But then I’ll have to find another loonie.”  Her face fell; I felt like a jerk and handed over my cart.

I wish I didn’t mind doling out loonies.  I wish I didn’t have to fight to acquire and keep my own precious, saved-especially-for-shopping-carts loonie.  I wish other people would get their own loonies.  I wish I could go to the grocery store without facing the shopping cart dilemma:  be sweet or be savvy?

Back to School

Kids are already back in school.  Did this summer go by fast, or what?  I’m not ready to tackle that tedious-yet-highly-creative job of packing nutritious, exciting, and delicious lunches again.

I am glad the back to school shopping is over.  Juggling supply lists, clothing lists, grocery lists, and footwear lists (come on shoe manufacturers – don’t you know we need white soles for indoor shoes?) is quite exhausting.  Add in combination locks, boxes of tissue, haircuts, registering, sharpening pencils, and labeling lunchboxes, and I’m about ready for another vacation.

This year we did some back to school shopping at West Edmonton Mall (after we shopped locally, of course).  If you do your back to school shopping there next year, may I remind you of a few things:  wear your most comfortable shoes, park close to the stores you need, and remember to take the roll of loonies out of your purse first.

With all this talk of “back to school” (including my husband who went back to school last year to work on his CMA designation) I’ve started thinking about it myself.

I didn’t go to university after high school.  I went the technical college route – one intense year of 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. classes.  It wasn’t until years later, when we paid off my husband’s student loan, that I realized how nice it was I didn’t have one.  University is an awfully expensive place to “find” yourself.

But I’ve finally thought of something I might enjoy studying at university:  Human Resource Management.  The question is:  Do I have time to go to school while managing the needs of a family of seven?  If only “Human Resource Management” meant food prep, laundry, and back to school shopping, I’d already have my doctorate.

On Religious Education

During a survey a few years ago, I recommended a comparative religion component be included in the Grade 5 Bible class.  I believed it would be beneficial for children to understand the differences (and similarities) between Christian denominations and other world religions.

At that time I also suggested delegates from the various faiths do the teaching to ensure they were represented fairly.  Perhaps this would have been too difficult to correlate, but I didn’t expect the whole program to be cancelled.  Don’t you hate it when you try to do something good and it backfires?

I believe that education increases understanding.  In a time when the words “tolerance” and “respect” are waved as banners above us, wouldn’t it be easier to tolerate and respect others’ religious beliefs if we actually tried to understand them through education?

Notice I say “tolerate”, “understand”, and “respect” – not necessarily “accept”.  We don’t have to accept or adopt something into our own lives in order to understand it or respect those who believe it.

If the Bible (or religion in general) isn’t taught in school, will it be taught at home?  I think there may be some parents who want to teach their children but don’t know what to say because they haven’t received any religious training themselves.  It can be confusing with so many differing views out there.

Lately, the loudest view seems to be non-believers screaming “No God – No Religion!” in an attempt to save the rest of us from our folly.

Rest assured there are still plenty of believers.  I love it when people tell me of their faith or how a prayer was answered.  Keep it up folks!  We can continue to believe and study the Bible even without a class at school to help us along.