Misery Loves Company

At the end of January we took our son to Edmonton for a long-awaited dental procedure.  Because of his asthma and the possible complications of general anesthesia, it needed to happen at the Stollery Children’s Hospital.

When we got there, I was amazed at the number of children going in for surgery.  Dressed in yellow and white-striped pajama bottoms and green hospital gowns with numbing cream taped to their hands, they sat on parents’ laps and played electronic games.

It’s an emotional thing to wait with a child before surgery.  Fear of the unknown coupled with the knowledge that every now and then something goes wrong is an effective recipe for anxiety.  But, for some reason, seeing so many others there made me feel better.  I guess misery does love company.

Finally, we were taken to a lonely hallway on the third floor where our son happily climbed onto his gurney.  I kissed him, told him he was “my best little boy”, and quickly moved behind him so he couldn’t see my tears.  Seven minutes later my husband came out of the Operating Room and reported he was asleep.  I dried my eyes and we went for lunch.

When we came back to wait for the dentist’s report, another mother was kissing her infant daughter “goodbye”.  Watching her cry made me start up again.  Our eyes met and I said, “It’s hard, isn’t it?”  We both chuckled through our tears and I think she felt better knowing someone understood her pain.

Sometimes, we just need to know we’re not alone.

Laughable Lunches

About this time of year I get tired of making school lunches.  I don’t always make my kids’ lunches myself, but I’m still responsible to have food on hand for them to put together.

Finding lunch options that are healthy, quick, and affordable is an ongoing challenge.  Unfortunately, the food industry doesn’t make it easier for me.

Some choices are obviously bad, like pop, chips, and hotdogs.  But sometimes we think we’re making healthy choices when we’re not.  For example, a regular sandwich is probably made with genetically modified wheat bread, peanut butter (hydrogenated oil and icing sugar), and jam (lots of sugar).  If we choose lunch meat instead there’s usually nitrates and other words I can’t pronounce in those.

“Fruit” snacks have corn syrup and artificial flavours, “juice” boxes are often not juice but “cocktail” or “punch” with added sugar, granola bars are stuck together with oil and corn syrup, yogurt (the tasty, fruity variety) is full of sweeteners, and cheese strings are laden with fat and sodium.

There are healthier options out there, but you really have to search, read labels, or make it yourself.  It’s depressing.  Especially when we learn that “natural flavours” could mean MSG, ground bugs, or other nasty things.

These days, the term “healthy lunch” is laughable.  Only I’m not laughing.  I’m remembering my own school days:  “What’s that smell?  Oh, it’s just Kathryn’s lunch again – sardines on homemade whole wheat.”

I was hoping to spare my kids that, but I’m running out of options.

Bless Your Heart

Two weeks ago I got another one of those phone calls.  My dad had suffered a heart attack and was taken by ambulance to Foothills Hospital.

It turned out to be severe; one of his arteries was 100 percent blocked.  He underwent angioplasty and recovered for a week in hospital.  Now he’s home, adjusting to his new lifestyle and medications.

Considering the circumstances surrounding the attack (ie. that he was visiting my sister in Calgary just minutes from one of the best medical facilities in Alberta instead of driving through the mountains of BC, alone, as he was just two days before) I believe our family experienced a miracle.  Even the doctors said the only reason he’s still with us is because God didn’t want him yet.

Surprisingly, my dad had just undergone a thorough physical.  His cholesterol and blood pressure were good.  He doesn’t smoke.  He was a 70-year-old who acted like a 40-year-old.  How could he not have any warning he had Coronary Artery Disease?

Well, it turns out he did have some warnings.  But since he’d been given a clean bill of health, he chalked it up to indigestion or fatigue.  And since his brother died at age 70 from a stroke, he had studied up on the symptoms for stroke, not heart attack.

I heartily believe in miracles, but I also believe in being educated.  If you have any of the following symptoms:  chest pain or discomfort (pressure, squeezing, fullness), pain or discomfort in the arms, neck, jaw, back, or stomach, shortness of breath, cold sweats, nausea, or lightheadedness – call 911 immediately.

Healthy New Year

This past week, before the New Year and its accompanying resolutions, I managed to lose five pounds.  I think that’s the first time I’ve ever made it through the holidays without having to undo a button on my waistband!

Unfortunately, I can’t recommend the diet plan I was on.  It’s known as “The Pre-Christmas Flu”.  Believe me, coming down with the flu less than a week before Christmas was not fun.

Twelve days before Christmas my eleven-year-old started us out.  Two days later the four-year-old succumbed, then my husband.  Six days before Christmas it was my turn, and the others, except the seven-year-old, quickly followed.

All the pre-Christmas outings and gift-giving we had planned for the week before Christmas quickly fell off the calendar, replaced by exciting events such as going to the hospital for chest x-rays and dragging ourselves to the store for more juice and Advil.

After 24 hours I thought I was getting better, but I quickly learned that for the next several days my legs would feel like jelly, sorting laundry would leave me short of breath, and the fever and chills could revisit at any time.  I’ve always been skeptical of flu shots but I can see why anyone would want to avoid what we just went through.

I was very thankful we were well enough to host family for the red-letter days – with a considerate warning, of course, that there had been recent sickness in the house.

Now the New Year is here and, as always, health is one of my top priorities.  We even got a Wii (finally) and Zumba for Christmas to help us with our exercise goals.  No matter how that goes, however, I am definitely starting the year of 2013 with a renewed appreciation for good health.

When To Push

Don’t worry; this article isn’t about childbirth.

It’s about that difficult question:  When do we make someone do something they don’t want to do?  When do we push?  When do we ease up?

Some things are distasteful but necessary – like taking out the garbage or cleaning the toilets.  Some things have to be done.  Some things don’t.

This past week my daughter begged to be home-schooled again.  It was okay with me, but we had to consider what was best for her.  Did she need to work through this?  Did we need to make her stick it out?

I think such decisions require us to ask at least five questions:  1) Is it necessary?  2) Is there an alternative?  3) Is it affecting one’s health?  4) Is it becoming a pattern?  5) What are the possible future consequences and are they acceptable?

Sometimes making a decision is like stepping into the dark.  Sometimes the light doesn’t come on until after we’ve taken that first step.  I found this out 17 years ago.  My fiancé and I were great friends and had the same goals but I was completely miserable when we got engaged.  Breaking it off was hard but right.  I was sad but at peace.

It’s okay to turn around if we find we’re going the wrong way.  In fact, I think it shows wisdom, character, and humility to say, “I was wrong; I need to back up and try something else.”  My mom will be forever grateful her parents pulled her out of boarding school when she was 12.  I’ll be forever grateful I was allowed to quit jazz when I was 15.

Perhaps great leaders choose to motivate, inspire, and invite because really, who likes to be pushed by anyone but ourselves?