Anticipation

This time last year I wrote an article called “The Top of the Hill”.  It was about me turning thirty-nine and dreading turning forty.

Well, this week I’ll reach that milestone, and you know what?  I’m fine with it.  No big deal.  I’m forty!!  I’ve earned my gray hairs, spider veins, and skin tags!

Before I turned thirty, I also panicked.  And I’ll probably freak out about turning fifty.  But I’m starting to see a pattern:  Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event.

It works the other way too.  Sometimes the anticipation is better than the event – like the vacation you planned for a year then vomited the entire time.

When I was a teenager, the thought of moving away from home was frightening.  I couldn’t fathom ever being ready to live away from my family.  But I did it.  I lived on my own for six years before I got married.

My daughter worries about moving away from home.  I tell her not to worry – that when it’s time, she’ll be ready.  Funny how that works.  Anticipation can help us to prepare for and accept what’s coming.  A wise man once said, “If you are prepared, you shall not fear”.

Then there’s cleaning toilets, ironing, and dusting – three chores I detest.  When I anticipate them, I am miserable.  When I jump in, get it done, reward myself, and bask in the triumph of a job completed, I am happy.  Why do I waste time and energy dreading things?

I hope that as the years go on, I will wisely remember to savour each moment and each challenge, looking forward – with the joyous, motivating kind of anticipation, not the worrisome, anxious kind – to what the next day will bring.

Preparation Paranoia

Several months ago when the power went out unexpectedly, I realized how much I rely on electricity.  Without it, the food in my fridge goes bad, my house gets cold, I walk into walls in the darkness, and I have no entertainment or information by way of computer and television.

Besides losing electricity, other types of “disruptions” could place us in various states of emergency.  Forest fires heading our way, heavy rains and flooding, tornados, ice storms, droughts, and even terrorist attacks.

Each type of disaster requires slightly different preparation.  A speedy evacuation would require grab-and-go, 72-hour-kits that include identification, toiletries, extra money, and a change of clothes.  Flooding could necessitate having clean, bottled drinking water on hand.  Severe winter storms that knock out power would require alternative heat sources such as wood stoves or generators.

Often when a natural disaster strikes, neighbouring communities reach out to help.  But what if they couldn’t get to us quickly or there was a wide-spread disaster like an EMP?  Would we have adequate supplies – food, water, fuel, medical supplies, toiletries, etc. – on hand so we could hunker down and be okay in our homes?

Lately, “hoarders” have been getting a bad rap on TV, but there is a big difference between carefully planning, storing, and rotating emergency supplies and actual hoarding.  It makes sense to store at least 3 days of food and water in our homes, and preferably even more.

Lord Baden-Powell was on to something when he declared “Be Prepared” as the Boy Scouts of America’s motto.  It’s good advice for all.  Any type of preparation (getting an education, having a savings account, carrying a spare tire, practicing fire drills, attending a prenatal class) reduces stress and worry.  It’s not paranoia to be prepared; it’s preparation that keeps the fear away.

Bullying Awareness

Last Wednesday, people across Canada supported Pink Shirt Day to send the message:  Stop Bullying.

I found this Pink Shirt Day rather ironic since my daughter was teased last year for wearing a pink shirt to school.  They called her a girly-girl and a goody-goody.  They told her where she could or couldn’t sit and whispered secrets about her.  She was too sweet and shocked to stick up for herself, so the emotional bullying began.

Some might argue that this wasn’t real bullying because she wasn’t hurt physically.  However, bullying is defined as “an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally.  Bullying behavior may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion.”

These little pin-pricks inflicted on my daughter over time became a big deal.  She began to have anxiety attacks at night and dreaded going to school.  As a result, she’s being homeschooled this year.

Now we’ve worn our pink shirts, listened to the news, and become brilliantly aware that bullying is a problem.  What’s next?

I don’t know.  There doesn’t seem to be a clear or easy solution to the problem, but the first step, I believe, is to really understand the issue.

Who or what creates bullies?  What causes some kids to be picked on more than others?  Where is the line between normal childish behavior and bullying?  Can parents and other adults really do anything about it?  Has bullying always been a problem that we are simply more aware of now?

Over the next few weeks I plan to look for the answers to these questions.  I’m no expert, but I am a concerned parent and citizen who can research, ask, listen, and write.  Since awareness is the start of a solution, that’s where I’ll begin.