Past and Present

St. Patrick’s Day is a week away.  It’s not a day I get too excited about – I just make sure my kids are wearing green underwear so they don’t get pinched and we’re good to go.

Recently, however, I was bitten by the Family History bug.  I’ve become particularly interested in researching my mother’s side.  My Grandma Olive was adopted so we don’t know much about her biological parents, but I have learned that her father was part Irish – Patrick O’Neil was his grandfather.

So what do you know?  I’ve got a wee bit o’ Irish in me after all!

There’s something addicting about genealogical research.  When you find a record with names, dates, and places, stories begin to form and relationships develop – no matter that you’ve lived decades, centuries, or oceans apart.

My Grandma Olive’s parents were married with five children.  When they separated, the father took his three sons and the mother, Annie, took her two baby girls – though she was soon unable to provide for them and had to place them in an orphanage.  When Olive was three she went to live with a couple who later adopted her.

I truly appreciate Olive’s adoptive parents who gave her a good home, but my heart aches for Annie, my biological great-grandmother who had to give away her babies.  I’m drawn to her – and I’m grateful for every bit of information I can find to piece her life together.

And so I urge you to record your own family histories and share them on websites like Ancestry, Family Search, and My Heritage so that those searching for their past, like me, can find it.

The Adoption Option

I recently flew to Ontario to visit my brother and his family.  The reason for this trip was to participate in a celebration welcoming their newly adopted, 12-year-old daughter into the family.

My brother and his wife already have two teenage sons of their own.  Now, through the lengthy and careful process of adoption, and nothing short of a few miracles, they have a daughter to cherish as well.

I have watched friends go through the process of adopting a new baby.  First the application, then the excruciating waiting, then the excitement of the phone call, then the disappointment of the mother’s change of heart.  After several attempts, they finally received a baby to love and call their own.

These friends weren’t the only ones going through this process.  In fact, there seems to be more couples hoping to adopt a baby than there are babies being placed for adoption.  It makes me wonder why adoption isn’t considered more seriously by teenage girls and any woman who finds herself pregnant and unable to provide a long-term, stable, and loving home for the child.

When some of the alternatives – abortion, poverty, neglect, abuse – are measured, adoption is a beautiful option.  I can think of few things less selfish than a mother putting her child’s needs above her own emotions.

Since it’s easier to find homes for brand new babies than older children, upon discovery of an unplanned pregnancy the adoption option should be weighed immediately as one of two choices:  Keep the baby and provide a loving home, or allow the baby to be adopted and raised in another loving home.

As I saw the joy on the faces of my newest niece and her new family, I felt gratitude for both the foster mother who loved this child for five years and the biological mother who had the courage to say good-bye.